A Tribute to Hope

Today is my wife Hope's 44th Birthday; & as a part of our families celebration of the gift of her life, love & faith, I am re-posting this blog:

"NO SAM'S MOM!!!"

It was one of the proudest moments of my life. It ranks up there with becoming a Christian, championship football seasons, passing the Camp Ridgecrest “Little Chief” test, my wedding day, becoming a father, a few special ministry moments and glorious experiences with the Living God.

Some of the neighborhood boys had decided to start a club (6-10 yr olds). So, after extensive planning and intense preliminaries….they set out to build a tree-house …their club-house. After the basic construction from scrap wood and spare nails was done, they put the finishing touches of childhood craftsmanship in place…their stamp of authenticity, -graffiti. There were some splotches and lines of various colors, a few signatures (if you could call it that), a couple of ? symbols, and the crowning achievement…the club-house credo writ large on the exterior wall for all to see.

Now, if you are a parent, have been a summer camp counselor, or did a lot of babysitting (say 2nd to 6th graders); then, this is nothing new to you. The list of “club” rules and members is a normal part of learning to both write and relate (I think). And, I must admit that our daughters tend to be much more serious and creative while universally embracing the “no boys, and especially no brothers allowed” doctrine during those early years.

However, nothing could have prepared me for the neighborhood boy’s club-house graffiti credo. No, it wasn’t your traditional “No Girls Allowed,” nor a more conventional no sisters or adults clause. It was a new, radically different, undeniably bold and revolutionary statement…..”No Sam’s Mom!!!”

WOW! The elementary exclamation of exclusivity, the kid’s key to liberty…the club-house commandment and battle-cry…the castle rampart for protection. Do you get it? This was not a prohibition of all women or parents, but of “1.” Somehow in the infant, imaginative and warrior obsessed minds of these youth; they had focused in on the “1” ultimate opponent they did not want to have to face…“Sam’s Mom,” my wife Hope.

They knew (as I do) instinctively and experientially, this “1” woman was there and would get involved if needful. That’s it! Involvement, concern, action was her character; and she had and would serve as a boundary to adolescent whims and attitudes, while providing a voice of wisdom and conscience. How often our souls and our children are threatened spiritually and we need someone to discern, speak up and get involved to stave off the assault.

The world’s system, postmodern culture and media constantly promote ideas and images that place children’s lives at risk by making false beliefs and sinful activities appealing and applauded. Worse still, is the corresponding spiritual fascism that labors to erase parents, disdain all authority figures and eliminate the Christian faith and God from “normal” life experience. The biggest lie is humanistic, and proclaims that we may live this life on our own, for selfish pursuits and pleasures, and with no reference to either the Almighty or our want…need of piety or devotion.

But not on Hope’s watch. Every neighborhood needs a “Sam’s Mom,” and every family needs an initiator of conversation about values and consequences. Please understand, I in no way am suggesting the oft experienced religious, controlling or condemning parenting; but rather the grace and truth that says, “Have you thought about what that would feel like if it was you? Could we talk and pray about that for a few minutes?” What I’m endorsing is the Pr. 31 “virtuous woman;” the Christian mother whose “kindness brings conviction” and whose “gentleness makes greatness!”

Hope, that’s who you are. You are beautiful, holy, awe-inspiring and lovely beyond compare. Solomon saw and said it by Spirit-inspiration, the neighborhood boys experienced it and I know and love it, “Who is this who shines like the dawn; as beautiful as the moon, bright as the sun, awe-inspiring as an army with banners?” She is the “1” coming up out of the wilderness, leaning on her beloved, full of ardent, unrelenting passion (SOS 6:10, 8:5-7).

Hope Buhler, I am forever grateful for who you are. As a gift of life, graced with wisdom and beauty, you are uncommon…precious, priceless. Your faithfulness is a pillar in our love and family. Your strong convictions, fierce loyalty and fiery faith anchor me. Your spiritual sensitivity, personal vulnerability and brutal honesty refine me. Your depth of devotion, high aspirations, width of counsel and the length of your sacrificial-love has touched Heaven and reached my soul…marking my life eternally.

Words cannot express my gratitude for who you are, what you do….how you live, love, believe and serve. You cared and got involved with me, our children, their friends, our neighbors and the innumerable company of souls that have benefited from you “fearlessly diving in.” I will never forget you watching me, writing me, worshipping next to me, our times of spiritual wrestling and soul-wrenching prayer, waiting in desperation…hoping in the Lord, and wondering together. You have been to me and all who truly know you, God’s goodness and truth. You are tried, trusted and treasured. You are pure joy, and can only create unhappiness by being absent.

With all my heart and sincere thanks, Your Husband, Chip.

“Je t’aime plus qu’ hier moins que demain.”
I love you more than yesterday, Less than tomorrow!

P.S. Hope...Sarah and I have 2 words for you………. “kindness!”

"No Sam's Mom!"

It was one of the proudest moments of my life. It ranks up there with becoming a Christian, championship football seasons, passing the Camp Ridgecrest “Little Chief” test, my wedding day, becoming a father, a few special ministry moments and glorious experiences with the Living God.

Some of the neighborhood boys had decided to start a club (6-10 yr olds). So, after extensive planning and intense preliminaries….they set out to build a tree-house …their club-house. After the basic construction from scrap wood and spare nails was done, they put the finishing touches of childhood craftsmanship in place…their stamp of authenticity, -graffiti. There were some splotches and lines of various colors, a few signatures (if you could call it that), a couple of ? symbols, and the crowning achievement…the club-house credo writ large on the exterior wall for all to see.

Now, if you are a parent, have been a summer camp counselor, or did a lot of babysitting (say 2nd to 6th graders); then, this is nothing new to you. The list of “club” rules and members is a normal part of learning to both write and relate (I think). And, I must admit that our daughters tend to be much more serious and creative while universally embracing the “no boys, and especially no brothers allowed” doctrine during those early years.

However, nothing could have prepared me for the neighborhood boy’s club-house graffiti credo. No, it wasn’t your traditional “No Girls Allowed,” nor a more conventional no sisters or adults clause. It was a new, radically different, undeniably bold and revolutionary statement…..”No Sam’s Mom!!!”

WOW! The elementary exclamation of exclusivity, the kid’s key to liberty…the club-house commandment and battle-cry…the castle rampart for protection. Do you get it? This was not a prohibition of all women or parents, but of “1.” Somehow in the infant, imaginative and warrior obsessed minds of these youth; they had focused in on the “1” ultimate opponent they did not want to have to face…“Sam’s Mom,” my wife Hope.

They knew (as I do) instinctively and experientially, this “1” woman was there and would get involved if needful. That’s it! Involvement, concern, action was her character; and she had and would serve as a boundary to adolescent whims and attitudes, while providing a voice of wisdom and conscience. How often our souls and our children are threatened spiritually and we need someone to discern, speak up and get involved to stave off the assault.

The world’s system, postmodern culture and media constantly promote ideas and images that place children’s lives at risk by making false beliefs and sinful activities appealing and applauded. Worse still, is the corresponding spiritual fascism that labors to erase parents, disdain all authority figures and eliminate the Christian faith and God from “normal” life experience. The biggest lie is humanistic, and proclaims that we may live this life on our own, for selfish pursuits and pleasures, and with no reference to either the Almighty or our want…need of piety or devotion.

But not on Hope’s watch. Every neighborhood needs a “Sam’s Mom,” and every family needs an initiator of conversation about values and consequences. Please understand, I in no way am suggesting the oft experienced religious, controlling or condemning parenting; but rather the grace and truth that says, “Have you thought about what that would feel like if it was you? Could we talk and pray about that for a few minutes?” What I’m endorsing is the Pr. 31 “virtuous woman;” the Christian mother whose “kindness brings conviction” and whose “gentleness makes greatness!”

Hope, that’s who you are. You are beautiful, holy, awe-inspiring and lovely beyond compare. Solomon saw and said it by Spirit-inspiration, the neighborhood boys experienced it and I know and love it, “Who is this who shines like the dawn; as beautiful as the moon, bright as the sun, awe-inspiring as an army with banners?” She is the “1” coming up out of the wilderness, leaning on her beloved, full of ardent, unrelenting passion (SOS 6:10, 8:5-7).

Hope Buhler, I am forever grateful for who you are. As a gift of life, graced with wisdom and beauty, you are uncommon…precious, priceless. Your faithfulness is a pillar in our love and family. Your strong convictions, fierce loyalty and fiery faith anchor me. Your spiritual sensitivity, personal vulnerability and brutal honesty refine me. Your depth of devotion, high aspirations, width of counsel and the length of your sacrificial-love has touched Heaven and reached my soul…marking my life eternally.

Words cannot express my gratitude for who you are, what you do….how you live, love, believe and serve. You cared and got involved with me, our children, their friends, our neighbors and the innumerable company of souls that have benefited from you “fearlessly diving in.” I will never forget you watching me, writing me, worshipping next to me, our times of spiritual wrestling and soul-wrenching prayer, waiting in desperation…hoping in the Lord, and wondering together. You have been to me and all who truly know you, God’s goodness and truth. You are tried, trusted and treasured. You are pure joy, and can only create unhappiness by being absent. With all my heart and sincere thanks, Your Husband, Chip.

“Je t’aime plus qu’ hier moins que demain.”
I love you more than yesterday, Less than tomorrow!

P.S. Hope, Sarah and I have 2 words for you………. “kindness!”

"The Maxim of Motherhood" #2

“If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly!”

This quote was from: What’s Wrong with the World, and it begins by saying we agree about the evil, but disagree about the good…we agree about the abuses of things, but differ very much about the uses of them. He concludes the opening chapter with, “What is wrong with the world is that we do not ask what is right.” The inference is clear that a woman with her children is the good, and a mother in the home is what’s right. The book: Common Sense 101 says, “It is really no great accomplishment for a woman to do what a man can do…what is much more obvious –and much more ignored is that there is one thing a woman can do that a man cannot do: be a mother. The feminists claim they want the woman to have more influence in society, and then they take her away from the place where she has the greatest of all influence in society: the home.”

I understand that many mothers have to work, and I applaud them for their sacrifice and service. But I also am awed by the mother that is committed entirely to family life which is essential and eternal. “Working mother” is a misnomer…the word “mother” is already a synonym for some of the hardest and most demanding work ever shouldered by any human. My wife and mother lived Santayana’s aphorism, “The difficult is that which can be done immediately; the impossible is that which takes a little longer.”

Chesterton says, “The human house is a paradox, for it is larger inside than out…when we step out of the home, when we pass from private life to public life, we are passing from a greater work to a smaller one, and from a harder work to an easier one. And that is why most modern people wish to pass from the great domestic task to the smaller and easier commercial one. They would rather be in the business world serving the minor needs of a hundred different people than meeting all the major needs of just one person…they would rather teach a course in trigonometry to a hundred children than struggle with the whole human character of one child…How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the basics, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone?...Whoever makes herself responsible for one small baby, as a whole, will soon find that she is wrestling with gigantic angels and demons.”

What a great mystery, this eternal cosmic conflict between the serpent and the woman, and the fruit/children they produce (Gen.3:15, Rev.12:2-5). I am utterly convinced that not only my wife, but every mother if seen in the Spirit is dressed like Eowyn (the female warrior) in “The Return of the King.” When evil attacks and overwhelms mocking that “no man living can defeat me!” There she stands, a wounded warrior, shouting “I am no man!”, and strikes a death blow to the enemy of our souls and homes. Yes, a mother reacts with the terrifying force of her wisdom, a militant defense of what’s right, and the unquenchable fierceness of her love…and it is “Beautiful, Lovely…Awesome as an Army with Banners!” (S.O.S.6:4,10, 8:6-7). William Wallace that said, “They say that man is mighty, he governs land and sea, he wields a mighty scepter o’er lesser powers than he. But a mighty power and stronger man from his throne has hurled: “For the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.” (I wanted to end this by saying, “For those about to rock, we salute you!”, but I won’t).

“A thing worth doing is worth doing…badly?” In faith, by love, Absolutely!” For, all mothers intuitively know the secret of their greatest challenge and most repeated advice…“patience!” So, get started, and “let patience and faith have their perfect work”…believing that we have time to obey God and do it right. I honor the mothers that go first with little or no training. I thank the Mom’s that overcome…being afraid, but going forward anyway. I encourage you all that you embody “another spirit”…an “excellent spirit” that says in the face of giants, “Let us go up at once…for we are well able to overcome.” You go above and beyond…and the day is coming that you will “see of the travail of your soul, and shall be satisfied.”

Mom’s, it is worth it all…and “we salute you!!!”

"The Maxim of Motherhood" #1

“If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly!”

As I’ve reflected on my own mother’s life (we call her Mama-B), and pondered my wife’s writing “The Miracle of Motherhood”; their loving service and struggles become more and more significant. I’ve always said that if my wife never did another thing other than birth our children, she has still eclipsed me. However, she’s done much more…taking on the most demanding and influential work known to this planet, and doing it with courage and compassion. I am forever grateful to my mother and wife, and mankind is eternally indebted to Mom’s. Because of this, I am passing on some insights I’ve gleaned from G.K. Chesterton’s most poignant quotes pertaining to motherhood.

In 1910, Chesterton wrote one of his most famous and most misunderstood (and misapplied) lines, “A thing worth doing is worth doing badly!”…he said that the woman –she understands something men don’t, and by using this principle, she was maintaining the prime truth of woman, the universal mother. “The point he is trying to make is that an amateur does something because they love to do it, not necessarily because they are the best at doing it. The professional may be better, but is doing it for money, not for love” (D.Ahlquist). This means that all women enter this vocation of “Motherhood” with little or no training…just heart and soul…love and emotion.

Secondarily, “the larger point is that the rise of the specialist coincides with the demise of democracy and the family…our civilization has justly decided that determining the guilt or innocence of men is a thing too important to be trusted to trained men…… the most terribly important things must be left to ordinary people –marriage, mothering, jury decisions, making laws or disciples…when we wish anything done which is really serious, we collect ordinary people…the same thing was done, if I remember right, by the Founder of Christianity.” We should not trust a specialist or professional with the most fundamental human endeavors like family, faith or politics…we should not entrust the raising of our children to day-care specialists or PHD-professionals. It simply takes a marriage and a “Mother.”

Tacitus said, “The desire for safety stands against every great and noble enterprise.” It is certainly true that fear with its oppressive insecurities and obsession with inadequacy is a familiar and formidable foe. However, far more damaging I believe, is the hindrance from the resulting “perfectionism” that is so prevalent today. The greatest tyranny is the lie of lack that masks our fear and unbelief, and promotes procrastination in the name of “preparation and doing it right.” In reality, it is control based on fear and built on humanistic lies of performance orientation and worldly measures of success.

To be a “Mother”, follow Christ by faith, or pioneer anything (church-plants, starting your own business), at some point you must throw caution to the wind, and “launch forth” into the deep unknown. When Chesterton says, “A thing worth doing is worth doing badly”, he is proclaiming the woman, wife and mother that acts “by faith expressed and energized by love” is a supernatural force for goodness and godliness that defies “earthly, sensual and devilish wisdom.” Two of my favorite Bible verses support this. 2Cor.8:12 “If there is first a willing mind, it is accepted according to what one has, and not according to what one does not have!” And from the Message translation -Eccl. 11:4 “If you wait for perfect conditions, you’ll never get anything done!”

As a church planter, I have grown to understand, identify with and deeply respect these truths and the vocation of Motherhood with its exemplary faith. With this, as in all faith there is an element of risk, and it is here where the “Mother” shines the brightest as she places what ever she has (loaves of ability and availability, fishes of hopes and dreams) in the hands of her Lord, and trusts Him to supply what’s lacking and do the miraculous. This “Maxim of Motherhood” is a key to discipleship, and the most powerful and overlooked principle of birthing and building anything. Moms teach us to use what we have, and say, “Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give to you –in the name of Jesus!”

"The Miracle of Motherhood"

Written by Hope Buhler 5 years ago, and found by me in our Feb. office move.

I sit, I think, I ponder, I pray.

I dream, I desire, I question, I fear.

I cry, I tremble, I wonder, I see.

I laugh, I love, I give, I grow.

I wish, I can, I can’t, I try.

I sacrifice, I suggest, I scream, I request.

I listen, I learn, I lean, I linger.

I, it’s me it’s who I am.

I am a mother fearfully and wonderfully made. I am a gift to those God has entrusted into my care.

I may not have all I think I need, or even be what I wish I could be. I may not bake bread, or grow herbs from a seed. I may not sew beautiful clothes by hand or ever go out and purchase land. I might not be up at the crack of dawn or clean my house all day long. But I am me, that is who God’s created me to be.

I will watch over the ways of my household, I will open my mouth with wisdom and on my tongue will be the law of kindness.

I have a special assignment you see to be the mother of a precious three. No one else was given this position, just me. I am the perfect mom for the children God has given me. He has entrusted them into my care.

It’s the hardest task I’ve ever been given, I come ill equipped and unprepared. I tread softly on this uncharted territory. My greatest fear…I will mess them up for life. My greatest faith…God is bigger then all my fears, all I lack. He will be for them what I cannot be and provide where I cannot provide.

Deep within me the truth unfolds that I am God’s potter not just the clay. I mold and I shape, adjust and apply pressure. I help twist into greatness the future generation.

As I allow Him to mold and make me, as I am saved through child bearing, bearing children, holding them up to Him, training them, teaching them, I become a different vessel. There is no greater refinement; no greatest tool to pull out strength I never knew I had. There is not greater force provoking me to see and deal with the weaknesses deep within. I am broken and spilled out for the sake of my children.

Why? Because at the core of who I am is a mother who desires the best, the most, the greatest for her children and I am humbled when I feel the least, the lack, the lowest.

But that is the miracle of Motherhood…that a perfect heavenly Father would allow an imperfect woman to be entrusted with the precious lives He chooses to give me. All He requires in return is my love, my trust, my devotion to Him. For He knows what their purpose is, all they will ever need. He will guide and direct me as I listen and obey.

Just as my children lean upon my breast, as a woman and a mother I lean upon his chest and rest in His everlasting arms. All is at peace inside of me…for as I lay down to sleep I pray the Lord, my soul and the souls of my children…He keeps.